Thursday, April 10, 2008

PPQ Dungeness Island


That is how my mind works whenever I think of PPQ Dungeness Island. Located in the Outer Avenues of the Richmond in San Francisco, PPQ Dungeness Island is a Vietnamese restaurant (run mostly by Chinese people, I think) known for its Roasted Dungeness Crab which is flavored with butter, garlic, garlic, and more garlic. It is delicious and one of my favorite restaurants in San Francisco. Also, I have no idea where Dungeness Island is, but I want to know and in my dream it is one big long buffet table. Yes, Chinks dream of buffets. My dad even brings his own CRAB SCISSORS to buffets. He will say "even scientists can no be successful, weethout proper tool!" My dad is clearly a scientist of crab buffets and overeating. The nut does not fall far from the tree.

I went with 30 of my closest friends and family for my birthday this year. Us being us, when the crab arrived, we actually started CLAPPING and gave it a standing ovation. Yes, that is how we show our appreciation to dead animals that will sate us - we clap. We're fucked up and insensitive, I know.

My mom called me on my birthday this year, which also happened to be the day before San Francisco was the only North American city to host the Beijing 2008 Olympics Torch Run. What started out as a sincere Happy Birthday call ended up in a 20 minute lecture to me about how evil I was because My City (yes, to my mother, I now represent all 900K wackos in San Francisco, nevermind that most San Franciscans avoid crowds like the plague and most Tibetan protestors are dread-wearing white people from Marin) supports Tibet and people just want to believe what they hear and no one knows about how Tibet actually is and blah blah blah Chinacakes.

I argue with her a little, and explain to her how even if America was holding the Olympics this year, we'd probably be protested in other countries because we are seen internationally as a large country trying to impose our governmental standards on a smaller and less powerful country as well, and that I think it's cool people are protesting for what they believe in because well, you can't do that in China or other parts of the world. That's why it's happening in London, in Paris, in San Francisco - because people want to speak out to our government in ways that citizens of other countries can't.

Anyways, after stewing at me for a while, my mom asks me what I did for my birthday. I mentioned we went to PPQ Dungeness Island.

Mommy: Ohhhh, so feh-mose!
Me: Huh?
Mommy: Da dun-jah-ness creb. Soooo feh-mose!
Me: Yeah, we had it roasted and we also had garlic noodles. It was sooo good Mommy.
Mommy: You so rucky, you leev in San Fu-ran-seesko.
Me: What about all the protestors? I thought you hated San Francisco!
Mommy: Ah, you know, dees protestors, dey don't know. The only reason dey protest, ees because, efterwards, dey can eat dun-jah-ness creb.

My mom is convinced that the reason that people protest so much in San Francisco is so that they have a reason to celebrate afterwards by eating dungeness crab.

Which is totally not a far stretch of the imagination, I guess, since she is Chinese...

1 comment:

Omid Abroad said...

The burning question is: Did you get an "I GOT CRABS IN SAN FRANCISCO" shirt??