Friday, February 22, 2008

Stuff White People Like: Expensive Cameras with Oversized Lenses

They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, and if you haven't perused Stuff White People Like yet, then you should take a moment to read their awesome blog before you check out my modest contribution to the world of Stuff White People Like.

Expensive cameras with big lenses combine four things that white people love: technology, exclusivity, feeling artistic, and not having to work too hard.

When white people walk into any social situation and know no one, the first thing they have to do is pull out an expensive camera with a big lens, and beautiful blond women wearing halter tops and jewelry will smile radiantly and passionately. This gives them the sense of being "important" and contributing when they really have no real purpose or connection to the particular social situation.

Expensive cameras with oversized lenses are, however, by their very definition, expensive. And hence, exclusive. Hence, white people must justify to themselves that these cameras transcend selfish purpose and must attach meaning and intent for their frivolous exchanges. This meaning is art.

In order to add artistic credibility to their high minded hobby, a white person can take a close-up of a butterfly, or a flower, or an eye with a single tear running down. Beautiful women appearing pensive and non-rehearsed moments involving children and excess lighting are also artistically valid. A spoon on a table casting a shadow in high contrast lighting is suddenly an object of immense and unspoeakable beauty. A plastic bag floating in the wind can be the metaphorical subject of an Academy Award winning movie.

"Sometimes there is so much beauty in the world..."

Being artistic is easy when you have Photoshop to do so for you.


The Millionizer said...

ummmm, are you talking about tbu here? i can't help but feel a little offended.

eddo said...

Believe me, TBU is not the only guilty party... ;)

Omid Abroad said...

But.. but.. but.. I'm brown!

x said...

i don't think Teebs is guilty --
Jews aren't the same kind of white people.

but he does kind of look like that guy in am. beaut. (which, have you noticed, was the "eternal sunshine"/"adaptation" of its time?)