Friday, August 3, 2007

Per my Glamorous Lifestyle...

I have been working in the business world for the last three years of my life (my official title is "Corporate Whipping Boy" - next time I see you, I'll give you a card), and have decided that this is not the way to achieve the glamorous lifestyle. Because you end up saying things like "per..." as in "per my balls, please suck them" and "touch base" as in "let's touch base and genitals".

I've also heard that by the time we're old enough to retire, Social Security as we know it will be gone and the retirement age will be 70, to which I heartily respond - FUCK THAT. I can barely see myself working until 35 let alone 70. I have decided that the only way to avoid retiring depressed and alone at 70 is to win the lotto. So I have been playing Mega Millions and Super Lotto and scratchers like my life depended on them. Because, well, since I have absolutely no backup plan, it kind of does.

So when I win the lotto, I promise all my readership (at this point, it is but One Sharp Broad) that I shall share some of my gigantic and unlimited wealth with you. Which means I'll buy you a taco from a taco truck on East 14th. And maybe a Top Dog if you're lucky. And some ramen. You lucky Domicana, you.

1 comment:

harsh said...

dude, I read your blog, I think that entitles me to a taco, AND a top dog when you hit it big