Friday, December 14, 2007

Foodie Time

Alright, I read a lot of food-related blogs. Chowhound, Eater SF, Gridskipper, etc., etc., etc. It's kind of a hobby of mine, and obviously a lot of other people as well, since San Francisco might as well be the foodie epicenter of the country. It's deserved too - I don't think anywhere focuses as much on the locally sourced, humanely treated, organic, and pesticide-free way of eating that San Franciscans love to indulge themselves in, and which, by many accounts, Chez Panisse in Berkeley created.

What bothers me, and I'm trying not to sound like a snob here, is that a lot of people *think* that they know their stuff, and they're absolutely wrong. Do you know how easy it is to look up a review in Zagat, or to read the Chronicle's (Michael Bauer's) Top 100 Restaurants in the Bay Area, and then to check it off and say you agree with the experts? I was reading a post a Chowhound that asked for a "unique San Francisco restaurant" with the OP mentioning that they already scored reservations for French Laundry. Do you know what the people on Chowhound recommended?

Gary Danko - okay, I can understand that, it's arguably SF's best restaurant, although everyone I've heard from who has gone in the past year or so thinks otherwise
Slanted Door - I guess fusion or Vietnamese food hasn't really gone mainstream outside of the coastal foodie hubs, so I understand that, too
Cha Cha Cha - HUH?! The person who recommended it actually said "that place on Haight with the good sangria, yum yum I love sangria!!"
Scoma's - HUH?! A Wharf seafood restaurant? NEXT!
Bistro Boudin - HUH?! Because they don't have Boudin in EVERY MALL IN THE COUNTRY.
Americano - dude, homie's going to French Laundry... I'm sorry, but Americano's flatbreads don't cut it.

Honestly, this sounds like a list of the who's who of San Francisco restaurants loved by people who live in Atherton.

I'm not a foodie, but here's what I would have recommended, and I'll tell you why.

Bodega Bistro - I agree that Vietnamese food is not quite mainstream, but Bodega Bistro gives you more of the "real" stuff rather than the blanded down version of Slanted Door's carefully manicured "Vietnamese experience." The surroundings are amongst crack alleys in the Tenderloin, but the purple painted walls, gracious host, and quality of food are second to no other Vietnamese-French restaurant in The City.

Burma Superstar - the wait is long, the legend is hyped (at least amongst locals), but unless you live in Eastern Los Angeles, you've probably never had Burmese food before. Burma Superstar is nice enough that you won't feel uncomfortable, they always explain what's in every meal when they bring it to you, and Burmese food is different in that it's familiar enough to any palette who recognizes Chinese, Thai, and Indian flavors, but its flavors and textures mixes in a way that no other cuisine can quite match.

Chez Panisse - The Bay Area's number two punch. I've never been to French Laundry, but Chez Panisse was the best meal I've ever eaten in my entire life. Often imitated, but never duplicated, this is the original California cuisine. Yes, I know it's in Berkeley.

Kiss Seafood - Here's the thing. I don't like sushi. But I know many people coming to San Francisco want to try out high-end Japanese restaurants. And Kiss, from what I understand, is the best among them. Some of the freshest fish in the world, Japantown location, sushi as well as more traditional prepared Japanese delicacies - this is what San Francisco's obsession with freshness combined with its international aura is all about.

Anyways, I can go through a lot more examples, but I feel oftentimes people speak out of their ass. Seriously, who would recommend going to Cha Cha Cha for anything other than ANOTHER Silicon Valley birthday having a night out in The City?! I put more credo in local reviews, I put more credo into unique voices, I put more credo into people who aren't afraid to try ten bad meals just to find one sparkling meal, and I put more credo into those who aren't afraid to venture into the neighborhoods, leave their Zagats and Chronicle Top 100 and Michelin lists at home, and explore the actual restaurants that make San Francisco such a unique dining destination in the world.

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Stulted Adult Ed?

I'm feeling the pangs of adulthood coming on. It's strange. I think it's a result of my new job. For a rundown, after a stint at a local University which resulted in a double major in two respectable technical majors and a minor in Art History (Ha! I kid! Art History is also a very respectable major...), I found myself suddenly thrust into the world of corporate ladder-ism. Confused especially by my anti-"the man" credo, which I proudly learned, adopted, and embraced during my formative liberal college years, I played the corporate tool game until I could play no more - i.e. 3 years. It took me that long to realize that I really couldn't just keep going back to the same mind-numbing flagellation-inducing cubicle torture doing something I really couldn't care less about for clients that really didn't interest me. It took me that long to realize that my face was starting to hurt because I was fake smiling all the time.

So I quit. And I found a job I like more. And yes, it's still at a large corporate institution, and this one might even be more buttoned-up than the last. But the type of work I'm doing is so much more in line with my personal beliefs, and the clients and the job are so much more satisfying when you actually *care* about what you're doing.

And this change, I think it's spurted a growth in me. Back when I was working for the hell of it (i.e. the dolla dolla bills y'all), I'd go out because I'd want to escape from life. I'd abusively drink because I had nothing else better to do. But right now, I can feel a change inside me. I still do, more often than not, see the bottom of the bottle, but it's different. I'm not drinking to run away from something. I'm drinking to celebrate.

I can feel it. I want to go back to school. I want to learn more about what I do. I want to get on different clients, and I want to go out and travel. I want to purchase housing. I want to meet women who are like me, who are down to get down, but who know when to not. I want to fucking greet life in the face and be like, "what now, bitch?!"

I want to be. And that, above all, is a mother fucking change.

Thursday, September 13, 2007

missED connection!

Alright, since I am weary that craigslist will take away my missED connection (see http://sfbay.craigslist.org/sfc/mis/421173593.html), I will recreate it here for posterity's sake.

you got off bart at civic center station at 6pm - w4m - 26


Date: 2007-09-12, 11:14PM PDT


i knew who u were when i got on bart at 12th street oakland. i read all ur reviews on yelp all the time and i always told myself that if i saw u i would come up & say hi.

u got off bart at civic center. i was too shy to say hi and i regret it. you were talking to the girl behind u about muni and bart. i can't believe i didn't at least say hi.

if anyone else reads ur reviews, they will know who i'm talking about. ur the funniest guy on yelp. ur way taller than i thought u'd be. u love bacon and arby's. ur... chinese (altho u call urself something else). u went to berkeley. u love ur mom and ur sister. u always say ur fat but i don't think ur fat at all. and i think ur really cute. :^)

i was wearing jogging shorts and an ipod and i had a gym bag. did u see me?

if u ever read this, please email me. we can have an irish car bomb together.

===
for how this story ends, see here: http://www.yelp.com/biz/AQmtiFRx-2P9Xuu2G7XRGw#hrid:E_08Fhyy4m4apAup2BxLaw

Monday, August 13, 2007

I put the E in Emo

I remember why I stopped blogging so damn much on my original blog - my livejournal. It's because I get freaking emo. Like hella emo, about hella everything. I suck.

Anyways, it's that time again. It is. I want a girl.

The thing is, when I want a girl, I really don't do anything different, other than make myself sad because I don't have one. I don't go to the gym more often, I don't go out more or less often, I don't change my behavior in any way. I just decide I want one, and there it is. I'm done. And now I am sad.

So this time I will change. Maybe writing crap down and posting it on the interweb will at least hold me semi-accountable for more whining. It hasn't worked before, but hey, I am mature and glamorous and emotionally fulfillled (ha!) now so maybe it will.

How to get a girl:
1) Lose weight
a) Go to gym
b) Eat better
c) Drink less
2) Save money
a) Cook more
b) Drink less
3) Feel better about myself
a) Lose weight
b) Save money

It's so funny, I was reading all those "How to get a girl" or whatever magazines or blog entries or whatever, and it just makes me sad how completely and utterly vapid everyone is. And like, I know I can go wherever and find whatever and seal the deal, but really, I want a relationship. I want someone or something to come home to, to work for, to care about.

So, I think it all boils down to - Go to gym, eat better, cool more, and drink less. Feel better about myself so I can feel better about others. If only it actually were so easy....

It's weird, I really feel like I have very little in life to look forward to right now. Seester gets married in September, and I know that's what most everyone in my life (family-wise) is thinking about right now, but I've talked about this with Seester, and it's so funny that everyone else's idea is that this is a huge thing, and to her, it's just a wedding.

I guess it is to me too. They were already living together, sharing everything, doing everything, committed to each other. I guess now it's just official.


Other than that, I am direction-less and desire-less now.

This is not a very glamorous post.

Friday, August 3, 2007

Per my Glamorous Lifestyle...

I have been working in the business world for the last three years of my life (my official title is "Corporate Whipping Boy" - next time I see you, I'll give you a card), and have decided that this is not the way to achieve the glamorous lifestyle. Because you end up saying things like "per..." as in "per my balls, please suck them" and "touch base" as in "let's touch base and genitals".

I've also heard that by the time we're old enough to retire, Social Security as we know it will be gone and the retirement age will be 70, to which I heartily respond - FUCK THAT. I can barely see myself working until 35 let alone 70. I have decided that the only way to avoid retiring depressed and alone at 70 is to win the lotto. So I have been playing Mega Millions and Super Lotto and scratchers like my life depended on them. Because, well, since I have absolutely no backup plan, it kind of does.

So when I win the lotto, I promise all my readership (at this point, it is but One Sharp Broad) that I shall share some of my gigantic and unlimited wealth with you. Which means I'll buy you a taco from a taco truck on East 14th. And maybe a Top Dog if you're lucky. And some ramen. You lucky Domicana, you.

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

I am brilliant.

Did I just start a new blog? I am insane. I can barely keep up with foruming, Yelping, eljaying, myspaceing, and othersuch -ings that I cannot think of right now.

Anyways, much like Fergie, I want you to know about how I fly first class up in the sky and poppin champagne livin the life, but even with my rich and famous lifestyle, I am still the chinky Arby's lover you know and love. Because I am glamorous. Yeah G-L-A-M-O-R-O-U-S.